Yes, We Like Pina Coladas

So...we all know the following song, Escape. We think it's called Do You Like Pina Coladas and we think that it's a Jimmy Buffet song but neither of those two things are true.

What is true is that it's an epic love tale - a near rock opera - recorded by a man calling himself Rupert Holmes. Escape would be Mr. Holmes' one career hit.

You see, this man, the protagonist is bored in his relationship - we're guessing they're nearing the two year mark - so he selfishly decides cheating is the answer. He "happens" upon the personals column and well... read on to see what happens next:

I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long.
Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.
And in the personals column, there was this letter I read:

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
I'm the lady you've looked for, write to me, and escape."

I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean.
But me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine.
So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad.
And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half-bad.

"Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne.
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape.
At a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape."

So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place.
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face.
It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh, it's you."
And we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew"..

"That you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You're the love that I've looked for, come with me, and escape."

In real life, you better believe there would have been a bit more fall out from this provocative surprise meeting than giggling and "oh I never knew" but hey...

Click here to read about a true life personal ad conundrum..."oh my god...mom? is that you?"